I have not forgotten you

I walk into your sanctuary,I sit upon your pew and thoughts begin to form in my mind.Have I been left out oh Lord.My God where are you...Why do you hide your face from me....Thoughts continue....have I offended you my Lord...Why won't you draw near....I stand to my feet and begin to praise you in-spite of how I feel.The sweetness of the sound of Holy Spirit filled prayers echo in the room...Are you here Lord....I hush my voice and drift off in the sound of prayers spoken in the spirit by all the believers around me..are you here Lord.The sweetness once again consumes me,but are you here Lord...I put one foot in front of the other and slowly make my way to the altar...surely you must be there Lord......I stand before you stripped naked of all my pride.I am humble before you...are you here Lord....I raise my hands and tears begin to fall..sorrow fills my heart...have you left me Lord....My heart is in peices..my words are few,but my thoughts are many.Have you forsaken me..have you left me...Surely you must see my tears..surley you know the depth of my broken heart...where are you Lord.....Are you not the God who promises to comfort the broken.he who collects and wipes away my tears..he who gives beauty for ashes....Can't you see me...hear me oh Lord..I lay here as ash at your feet..Pour your spirit on me and form something beautiful..
I hear you Lord...your speaking to me..I hear you as you whisper..Be still child I am here..It is man who goes by emotions and feelings not me...You may not feel me but I am with you...Your life has been consumed by emotions and feelings..feelings man caused..feelings of hurt and shame..I will break the cycle of emotions thoughts and actions consuming you.I will plant you as an oak by the waters..when the flood comes you will not be consumed for I am raising you up for a time to come..a time that is near at hand..your branches may break and your leaves will fall but in the end you will be restored to beauty..I will raise you up and water you by my spirit..I see your tears.I see your heart..I see the broken places and I have not rejected you for how you feel..but I will raise you up..I've had your life in my hands even before I spoke the words let there be..Child I have not forgotten you..you will sit in my lap and listen to my heart beat..you are special to me..I have a place for you..remember I am raising you up..and I am with you.